Other day someone asked me--if given an opportunity, which is time of my life I would want to live again? I thought for a while and each of those beautiful times reeled out in my mind. From the first time I entered college, my first crush, the first time we friends went out for an overnight, my first job, my first pay, the first time I proposed her... and my time at school.
Strange, while I lived each of these moments, I always dreamt of having a comfortable life as I am having today but, I was still happy not having it. But today when I have that comfort, I miss those days when I had everything but not this comfort. Somewhere I feel sad every second day while I say to a friend, “Man… those days were something…” and there will be sadness in my eyes. While in those days, it was, “Dude, someday…” and there would be a different spark in the same eyes. I wonder, if getting these comforts at the cost of those simple days was an expensive trade… Damn and I have brought something which doesn’t even come with a warranty. And now that I have this comfort, and I know it, I still want others to appreciate it. And despite of knowing that I have made it, I am still not satisfied as someone didn’t appreciate it. Gwad!
Today, look at some of your old photographs, damn most of us were such idiots and still so happy. Ahhh… I would like to see Naina Soman now; she was really beautiful in college. Ok Naina is not the main point. The point is that there is so much life even in those pictures. And now look at yourself now and even pictures…see it yourself to see the difference. Yes the pictures now are better as we are wearing branded stuff, the location is exotic and few are clicked in front of a fancy car…but the memory…the emotions attached to it … at least for me, I’d rather prefer the old pictures. Yes, days were tough then… but then… I don’t know what it was.
Ok now this is weirder, on a second thought, now if you ask me the same question--if given an opportunity, which is time of my life, I would want to live again? I’d say none. Those old days were tough. Today I have everything I had dreamt of. Yes those people are still somewhere around me, it is just a matter of catching up. Probably what I want today is a dream that is bigger than life. I dream that is mine and I need no approval of anyone to tell me if I have realized it or not. What I need to do is keep myself happy. Not be selfish, but yes pamper myself. Pamper myself by doing things which I love to. Pamper myself by choosing a path which makes me complete in my own eyes. I mean honestly, ask yourself, is it so tough to be yourself. Why, prove to anyone. Honestly, what difference does it really makes. I am sure, not everyone approves of this, but still honestly…
I mean, I did start with a dream, but trying to prove it to others, I just lost the dream...and the real reason. Where I am today, was also a dream...but...
Thinking of it, growing up isn't that fun also. I mean all this so called "maturity" and "understanding of life" which we think we have attained is kinda killing the simplicity of life. Actually, maturity is in simplicity, understanding is to break the complexity…isn't it.
